Members of popular internet forums Call out immediately A mother who wanted to turn her daughter’s study abroad into a vacation.
With a virus Reddit A post in r / AmITheA ** hole, Redditor u / Acrobatic-Flan-6059 (also known as the original poster, or OP), explains that his 26-year-old daughter is in the process of earning a PhD. It states as follows. Her frustration that she is not included in any of her academic trips throughout her country and to other parts of the world.
Title, “[Am I the a**hole] Did you tell your daughter to get over her? ” Position Yesterday, we received over 8,100 votes and 2,800 comments.
The original poster, which wrote that her daughter was part of the first family to attend college, said during a recent FaceTime, the two talked about their next trip to Germany, 26.
“She said she was meeting with an advisor to discuss submitting a grant application to go to Germany for two weeks in the summer,” OP wrote. “Especially I’m half a German, so I thought it was great … and I always wanted to see Germany so I could go out with her and make it a girl’s trip Maybe. “
Following her inquiry, the original poster said her daughter immediately stopped thinking.
“She said,’It’s not a vacation. If I go, I’ll teach, study, and network all the time,'” OP wrote. “She said she could do it on weekdays, go out for dinner at night and go sightseeing on weekends.”
“She said it was already a very cramped time and she wanted to spend her free time networking with other’scholars’,” OP continued.
“At this point, I felt completely abandoned … ashamed of her taking me,” OP added. “So I said,” You need to get over yourself and be quick, because not all of these “scholarships” are the only people you meet, and everyone is an elite with such annoyances. I don’t love her unconditionally to put up with the story of the principle. “” “”
Reduced involvement in the lives of adult children Can be difficult For many parents.
Descendants of college students often live outside their childhood homes and live independently of their parents, but mothers and fathers watching their children grow up into adults decide to cut off control of their children’s lives. I often have a hard time.
Bonobology, Website Focusing on relationships and parenting advice, I attribute this struggle to “Empty Nest Syndrome.”
“For these parents, letting go of an adult child is a real challenge,” insisted Bonobology writer Ranjana Camo. “They may not be aware that they are suffering from empty nest syndrome or that their child is now an adult, but they are not willing to let go of their grown-up child.”
“Adults don’t want to be overly obsessed with their parents because it prevents them from living their best lives to the fullest,” Kamo continued. “This excessive attachment can hinder the well-being of your child. Relentless parents can be a serious nuisance and can actually force your child to permanently break their relationship with them. I have.”
In thousands of responses to the virus’s Reddit post, commenters reiterated this sentiment, and in the original poster, the daughter’s refusal to travel the girl in Germany has nothing to do with embarrassment, everything is overwhelming. Guaranteed to have a relationship with a good parent.
“”[You’re the a**hole,]”Redditor u / NoUnicornPoo4You wrote in the top comment of a post that got over 27,000 votes.
“Your daughter doesn’t go on vacation. Get it through your head,” they added. “Take your own advice and get over it. You are not eligible to go on these trips.”
Redditoru / A_Birdii_, who won about 10,000 votes, told the original poster that she was actively obstructing her daughter’s work and should not even consider traveling abroad on an academic trip.
“This is her job. Graduate school is a job,” they write. “It would be incredibly inappropriate to go on a business trip with her daughter.”
“I’m literally surprised that I can think it’s okay to travel with a 26-year-old grown-up child,” Redditor u / Apart_Zucchini 5778 added. “Who is it? It’s not embarrassing you because you’re not educated. It’s embarrassing you because no one brings mom to the work function.”
In a pointed answer, Redditor u / Left-Car 6520 relayed a similar message detailing the difficulty of getting a PhD. Without your mom I’m looking over your shoulder.
“She’s right. They’re not a pleasure trip,” they commented, defending the daughter of the original poster.
“Especially for PhD candidates, they are enthusiastic, and if she wants to go somewhere in her field, she needs to invest in networking. That’s a lot of work she does on those trips. “They continued.
“And, of course, it would be strange to take your mom to a work event,” they added. “Like any other job, bringing you looks very childish and unprofessional. [mom] You will be dropped off at the overnight party, just like a child. “
Newsweek I contacted u / Acrobatic-Flan-6059 for comment.